Contact. Wait out. #25. Trimble.

Contact. Wait out. #25. Trimble.

In military vehicles you'll find a little box on the dash with three lights on it. This is the Trimble device which is designed to make any driving duty a pain in the arse. If the light is green it means that you are successful at driving like a Sunday driver. You accelerate slowly, thus forcing other traffic to swerve around you as you enter dual carriageways and motorways, you take corners carefully, which means going around roundabouts at a snail's pace, and you drive exactly to the speed limit, building up a massive queue of traffic as you go through tiny villages on A roads that have random 30 mph limits.

Basically, the Trimble pisses you, and all those around you, right off. It is supposed to make you drive safely but it is so sensitive that you're always keeping an eye on it. Even the most random of movements can set the thing off. (I once had one go red because a guy leant into the driver’s side window, to talk to me, while stationary.) This sensitivity means that you're always waiting for the thing to jump to red and send a report back to MT.

The MT report guarantees a bollocking. Damn I hate Trimble.