Contact. Wait out. #48. Investments.

Contact. Wait out. #48. Investments.

As many of you will be aware, I have been away for a bit, so this issue of #CWO is a bit late. I can't say I enjoyed my time on exercise but it has given me plenty of ideas for new sketches.

Anyway, this edition of "Contact. Wait out." talks about the hideous practice of swamping that is present in our armed forces, and I'd hazard to guess, almost all armed forces in the world. Swamping is when a soldier wets the bed after being out on the sauce. That is to say that he can't hold his booze and pees himself like a 5 year old child.

Thankfully, I've never been so drunk that I've done it but I have seen it a few times. Most memorable was when two colleagues of mine came in to the block drunk and spooned in their underwear. One of them woke up and stood over an innocent guy, sleeping softly, before urinating all over him. We could hear the flow and the shouting from the guy when he realised what was happening, but by the time the lights were flicked on, the offender was back to spooning.

The drunkard woke just after everyone else had got up and dressed and then started to shout at everybody because his bedding had been swamped. A mate of mine picked up his sleeping bag, soaked in urine, and slapped him round the face with it.

Later, in a huge, packed briefing room, the Commanding Officer made reference to the incident and the whole room bellowed with laughter. It was sweet.

P.S. Thanks Dave.