25 Signs You Might Be A Veteran

A veteran is classified as any person that has served for any amount of time in any uniformed service. There's more to it than that though. There is a type of person that comes out of a service once they've finished their time. The military moulds you. It makes you a thinker, a doer, a decisive individual who knows how to iron a shirt and how to polish a pair of shoes. Even those veterans that fall on hard times have it in them to step up when the need arises. Maybe you're a veteran. Maybe. Here's 25 signs that might help you figure out if you really are.

1. If you look at service personnel today, and laugh at them thinking that they're being original, you might be a veteran.

2. If you turn up everywhere early, and classify those who turn up on time as being late, you might be a veteran.

3. If you look at catalogues of military kit, and consider buying stuff only to realise you have no reason to use it, you might be a veteran.

4. If you buy kit out of military catalogues anyway, you might be a veteran.

5. If you look at hippies, emos, goths, skater boys, druggies, bums, and in fact anybody who isn't in some kind of service, and wish somebody would whip them into shape and cut their hair, you might be a veteran.

6. If you defend the armed forces at every opportunity, you might be a veteran.

7. If you have a strange fixation with firearms, you might be a veteran.

8. If you wow your friends and colleagues with suspiciously accurate knowledge of military kit and equipment, you might be a veteran.

9. If you have an opinion on military foreign policy, and tell anyone who'll listen, you might be a veteran.

10. If you can strike up a conversation with anybody you feel like, you might be a veteran.

11. If you fear no man, woman, nor beast, you might be a veteran.

12. If you can look another person right in the eye when you talk to them, you might be a veteran.

13. If you are proud of your flag and your people, no matter their race, colour, or creed, you might be a veteran.

14. If you secretly miss the toil and hardship of serving, you might be a veteran.

15. If you openly believe that you had it harder then the young military personnel of today, you might be a veteran.

16. If you secretly believe that you had it easier than the military personnel that came before you, you might be a veteran.

17. If you have outright respect for those that choose to put on a uniform and defend their country, you might be a veteran.

18. If you understand that all of the uniformed services share a common purpose and share a mutual understanding of duty, you might be a veteran.

19. If you rip the other services apart for being fat, lazy, homosexual, stupid, bone headed, privileged, overpaid, etc, but would be honoured to fight side by side with them again, you might be a veteran.

20. If you gave a period of your life to something bigger than the sum of its parts, you might be a veteran.

21. If you ever referred to yourself by your last name, or simply a number, you might be a veteran.

22. If you have many friends from the far reaches of the country, you might be a veteran.

23. If you ever stood on a gate, in the rain, and questioned your life choices, you might be a veteran.

24. If you live your life by a moral code, that few civilians understand, you might be a veteran.

25. If you have a strange relationship with alcohol, that few civilians understand, you might be a veteran.

So, there are 25 reason. Feel free to add your own. What do you think makes a veteran?

Contact. Wait out. Quiz. Walt Checker!

Want to figure out if somebody that you know is a Walt? Maybe you're a Walt and you don't realise it. Use the Walt Check 5000 to find out the truth.

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Contact. Wait out. #37. Menagerie.

Contact. Wait out. #37. Menagerie.

There's something about military establishments and pets. I can't count the number of times that I've gone into somebody's office only to be met by their dog. On one occasion, while visiting the Army Air Corps, I entered an office and found that there were several big dogs in there. It had a bit of a whiff, and I had to wade through the things, but I didn't really mind. Having a dog around is sometimes a nice distraction.

On occasion, they can be a pain in the backside. There was a Red Setter visiting with an officer one day, and the thing pissed that often that as soon as you entered the corridor, you were overwhelmed with the smell. The owner didn't seem to notice and thought his dog was lovely. I don't remember the dog's name, it was something like Buster or Barney, I just remember the stink.

Thankfully, the regular additions to the local workforce where I am are well behaved and friendly. They don't stink, or piss all over the place, they just mind their own business and destroy the odd chewy toy. To that end, this strip is dedicated to Polo, Lilly, and Molly. That's right three in my building alone. That doesn't include the odd occasions when Molly's best mate is there or when we get visits from other animals. I've even had a barn owl in the office shitting all over the floor. A barn owl!

7 Lesser Known War Movies You Should See

7 Lesser Known War Movies You Should See

The amount of war films that come out, year after year, is immense. All you need to do it look in the bargain bucket at your local pound shop and you can pick up box sets of gutsy war films and action flicks. The trouble is that most of them suck. Wrestlers are making special forces movies, copyright is running out on shocking B movies, and Ben Affleck is still alive. All this combines to give us plenty of quantity but with virtually no quality.

It is tough to filter through the turds in order to find a nicely polished one. It is even harder to stumble upon a really good war film that we haven't see before. Well, thankfully, I've put together this list of films that deserve a chance. You may have seen some of them before, but if you haven't, I hope that you enjoy them.

Feel free to add to the list by using the comments section or suggesting something on Facebook, and remember, you can find these titles on Amazon. Just click on the links in the article.

#CWO


Image: en.wikipedia.org

Contact. Wait out. #34. Never Trust a Skinny Chef.

Contact. Wait out. #34. Never Trust a Skinny Chef.

Let's get one thing clear from the start. I know that not all RLC chefs at fat arses. I know many of them are normal blokes and normal girls. That doesn't make for good humour though. Stereotypes are fun and that's why I'm happy to rip on the RLC in general.

These fat lads are drawing weapons from the armoury and the poor armourer has to deal with their REMF comments, and no doubt, he'll have to sweep away the biscuit crumbs and pick up the coke cans after they've left. You can almost guarantee that a chef would choose an ACMT over a PFA any day of the week. You have to wonder whether their stores are larger than average due to their having to store all the max size uniforms. Jabba jabba jabba jabba.

Got some return fire? Bring it on.

Contact. Wait out. #24. The Rugger.

Contact. Wait out. #24. The Rugger.

Army Navy is coming up and that deserves a strip. I really only watch the 6 Nations, and I know that is considered blasphemy to some, but there are two good reasons why the Army Navy game is not for me. Number 1 is that I'm not an officer type. This basically precludes me from joining in with the Wugger conversation awound Twickers. Number 2 is that I'm not a raging piss head. A lot of people that are going have no interest in the game, as long as Army wins, and are just going for the booze.

I have no problem with that by the way. If you're going, I hope you have an amazing time, I hope that the Navy get crushed, and I hope that you're so paralytic that you don't remember a single thing. Events like this are what keeps the brotherhood going and the esprit de corps developing into the future. I reckon everyone should experience it, in fact I'm kind of wishing I'm going now. Anyone got any spare tickets?